The Busy Church

Written on a dark night…

They race so fast I lose focus;
My heart is troubled.
Like a little child in a busy crowd, I am overwhelmed.
“Can’t stop! Really busy” I hear them say.
They rush on.
I wonder, why the pace?
They build to the left and dig to the right.
They look for treasures, and seek pleasures of now.
My heart cries out,
“Shh now, rest. Come listen to the gentle breeze of His Spirit. Hear Him speak to your soul.”
But they rush on by.

I ache for treasures shared –
That warmth; the intertwining of hearts, the vulnerability.
I long for deep waters –
The awesomeness of God mixed with the fragility of man.
Their walls are high, hearts shielded.
Services timed, scheduled and planned –
No time for God, no time for others.
My heart cries out,
“Shh now, stop! Can you hear Him whisper? His intense wooing, words sweet as honey. Love so deep and intimate. How He longs for you.”
They look puzzled.

I try to fit in; find ways to conform.
I attempt to hold back; silence my heart, hide my fragility.
I wear a mask, but the mask doesn’t fit.
I talk about lesser things, but find no words.
I try to get busy, but fall in heap
My heart cries, “There must be more!”
I look for solutions, to the left and the right
I build meaningless nothing’s and dig for treasures not found.
I long for my Lover. The One who sees me.
Who called me by name and clothed me in fine linen.
How I long for His touch. The kiss of His lips. To drink in His dew, to breathe in His breath.

I stop and listen. I silence my soul. My tears run deep.
Where is my God? I have looked and not found,
I must find a solution.
Questions are many, but answers none.
Darkness is thick and my soul is heavy.
I look for God. I am empty…
I look below and see a hand. My feet nestled in its’ palm.
I see His greatness; He’s incredibly big.
I hear Him say, “I am God”.

I am undone. I see my fragility – my limitations.
Oh how wrong I have been!
I searched in places where He could not be found.
I looked for solutions where there were none.
All along He was here, with me.
My heart is silenced.
I am surrendered.
Like a child in perfect safety, I shh… I rest.